VI

 

Imperceptibly, it has become a habit. Before I climb the ladder down, I inspect the water: yellow, floating tittles. I make a conclusion and a choice – pine pollen this time.

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I heard, decades ago the water was clear. It feels peculiar, since I’ve lived for a few decades, but never seen the bottom of the sea from the dock. 

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Here the water opens deep and wide. Big brother used to frighten me with sea monsters when we were children. I was left with an irrational fear to swim alone. I brought goggles just in case, but I don’t think I will use them. I’m not sure if I want to see what is in the bottom. 

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Sometimes I picture a shark fin on the surface. I read from Iltalehti, some teenager had filmed three bottlenose dolphins in Kimitoön.

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Mother has seen a viper in the seafloor. They accidentally swam together. 

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They say there are lots of vipers here

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many frightening tales

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everybody walk wearing rainboots.

 

I've never seen a viper in my life, and yet I’m afraid of them, and sharks, and sea monsters, just the sea itself,

and I wear rainboots every time I walk through the yard to the shore, I plan in advance what I shall do, if the water is so cold that I get a muscle cramp, and I stay close to the ladder just in case, if a snag or a pike should rise from the depths, because those too can be dangerous.

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I glide to the water and study the tittles more specifically. They don’t look like pollen anymore.

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Funny,

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to be so afraid of something very unlikely,

that one forgets to fear the most obvious.