VI


 

Imperceptibly, it has become a habit. Before I climb the ladder down, I inspect the water: yellow, floating tittles. I make a conclusion and a choice – pine pollen this time.

I heard, decades ago the water was clear. It feels peculiar, since I’ve lived for a few decades, but never seen the bottom of the sea from the dock. 

Here the water opens deep and wide. Big brother used to frighten me with sea monsters when we were children. I was left with an irrational fear to swim alone. I brought goggles just in case, but I don’t think I will use them. I’m not sure if I want to see what is in the bottom. 

Sometimes I picture a shark fin on the surface. I read from Iltalehti, some teenager had filmed three bottlenose dolphins in Kimitoön.

Mother has seen a viper in the seafloor. They accidentally swam together. 

They say there are lots of vipers here

many frightening tales

everybody walk wearing rainboots.

 

I've never seen a viper in my life, and yet I’m afraid of them, and sharks, and sea monsters, just the sea itself,

and I wear rainboots every time I walk through the yard to the shore, I plan in advance what I shall do, if the water is so cold that I get a muscle cramp, and I stay close to the ladder just in case, if a snag or a pike should rise from the depths, because those too can be dangerous.

I glide to the water and study the tittles more specifically. They don’t look like pollen anymore.

Funny,

to be so afraid of something very unlikely,

one forgets to be afraid of the most obvious one.